Rest in Peace Birthday Buddy

Marge and her husband Dave were my next door neighbors my whole life up till earlier this year.  And they were the best neighbors that any young girl growing up could possibly have. I still look across the way sometimes and forget that they aren't there anymore.  It is one of those things that I never thought would actually happen.  But alas we all grow up and things just don't stay they same.

I have so many memories growing up with Marge and Dave in them.  They would always take care of the mail when my family was on vacation and we always knew the weather each day on the little post-it that Marge left on top of the mail.  Marge and Dave had a dog Barney when I was younger and my sisters and I would love to feed him.  I remember Marge was the type of person that would always tend to have "too many desserts" and bring them over to us because Dave couldn't eat them due to his Diabetes.

I could go on and on about the memories that I have about Marge, but there is only one more that I think that I should share.  The thing that Marge and I had in common was that we were birthday buddies.  Now that really didn't entail much, but it was that fun connection that made my birthday  bit more special.  We would take over flowers of a card to her and share a few moments of our birthday together.

Marge was Like an adopted grandparent to me and my sisters.  With me only even knowing my mothers parents, and my Grandpa and Grandma Sherburne being called away from this world before I was here, she was the best adopted Grandmother that I could ever know.  We never said the word grandparent with them, but When talking briefly to Dave at the Funeral Home he said we always felt like relation. It was just one of those unspoken things with all of us.

The world lost the greatest neighbor anyone could ask for on Christmas Eve.  And I will always compare any of my future neighbors to the Overby's.  One of God's many gifts to my family.  Rest in Peace, my birthday buddy, Marge.


Marge's Obituary

Only God can get me Through

I am only seven hours into covering a co-worker's job since Friday was her last day and already my head is spinning...

I keep reminding that though God all things are possible. I think I've told myself that a few hundred times already today... maybe it'll start sinking in.

I pray that the right person comes to apply for her job soon because I can only do both jobs for so long. I just hope that I'm up for the challenge.

Through God all things are possible

Sometimes you just wonder

I never thought that life could get so crazy. I never thought of myself in this position. The thing is that I never really ever pictured my future. I never had an answer to the question: "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I always just made up something. Never knowing what my future really held. I never had a plan. I never really had huge dreams.

But now just even looking back to where my life has gone in 6 months. In just months, I realize that I'm in my future and I never realized it. I have plans. I have dreams. And ones that I am so excited for.

When did I start living my future?

One Year Ago

One year ago.... well one year ago I decided to take a jump off of the Grand Canyon of my life and I am so glad that i chose and followed that path.  Because my life now would not be the same if I didn't jump.

One year ago I went on my first date with Travis :-)  Leading up to that I had to make some choices, and I had to let go of some things that were holding me back.  But I jumped and my parachute opened. One year ago I thought that I was just lucky enough to go an a date with a great guy from school. Well, granted I didn't believe that it was a date and it took my younger sister to convince me that it was a date.

I became open to the possibility that God was going to work through me life, and He was going to lead me down the path that I should take.  Every day I feel so blessed that I am traveling this path in my life!  This past year wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for the friendship and love Travis has shown me.

I thank God for every moment, and while the past is a great story.  I will always look forward to tomorrow!

Hate getting my hair Cut

So I never really liked making time to go and get my hair cut.  It is one of the lazy things about me.  I just hate making an appointment, and then having to go, and then pay, and I guess tip as well.  Too complicated for me. But since graduation, I have been wanting to get a 'grown up' hair cut. aka one that actually requires doing more then straightening my hair every day, because I feel as if I look like I'm a high schooler still.  So I would like your opinion.  Do you like any of the following pictures?  Please don't let the person influence the opinion of the hair.  it was just what I could find.

I like the look of this one, and I guess what she has pulled back could be some shorter hair like bangs, so that could add more style options.  Granted I'm not blond and I don't have that much color texture in my hair

I don't think that my hair is this long, but I think that is is simple, but I don't know if it screams that  I am trying to be a business professional...

this girls face is kinda creepy.... but the hair is simple.  so it could work.  but it is just the straight that I normally do anyway, just added bangs...

So these are the three pictures that I found when I was just randomly looking.  I just want to look more professional I guess and the way my hair is right now, it doesn't really say that.  So I would love everyone's opinion! Thanks!

Loving Life

Psalms 27:14  says: " Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"

This time in my life has been trying, it isn't like I have to jump through hoops and go through really rough times. But, it has been a time where I really need to tell myself that I need to be strong and wait for the Lord to work in my life.  I don't know how many times that I have had to have someone tell me that.  But it has been often.  Sometimes it is easy to lose sight in the end when you are near sighted and only see a few inches in front of your face.  That is when you need to trust in God and let others help you.  

It has been through that, which I think, has made me stronger.  I think that now I pray and tell myself more often that I need to trust in God.  But I think that through that I see God working in my life more and more.  Life is going great and I never could have done it myself!

I have a second job interview this week with a great company.  I am getting my ducks in a row when it comes to moving on from College (which is hard, but I think that it is something that needs to be done).  I finally have time to catch up with friends and hang out.  Travis has been great, he's become my best friend and I don't know how I would go through all of this without him :-)  My family is amazing as we prepare for another sisters' wedding.

If I was told to dream up my future four years ago, I don't think that I would have dreamed up something even this great.  Life is a blessing, and I am just glad to be given each day!

Learning from my Past to Improve the Future

So it has almost been a yer already that I traveled across the pond and went to Spain. But I still find myself reflecting upon that trip every once in awhile.  I think that I have taken more from that trip since I have been back than I really did while I was there.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that I was actually in Spain, and France.

Lourdes, France

But thinking about where I have been, makes me realize how much has really changed in the past few years.  I wouldn't change anything really because even though there have been lows, I have also found that it was through those lows that I have gone to different heights from those lows.

So I guess what I want to say is that: If you have been a part of my past, thank you for being a part of my life.  I would not be the person that I am today without you.  If you are a part of my present thanks for sticking with me through the ups and downs (or you have to because we are related by blood.... ;-).....) and to those who are going to be a part of my future, I'm praying that God will use me to help you and that you will help me.

Blessings :-)

Looking ahead

I think that all that I have talked about recently is looking towards the future.  But right now I think that is all that I really know for sure: uncertainty.  All I know that I need to trust in God and by doing that, things will fall into place.  Through this entire journey I think that there are times when I could have given up and just gone a different direction, but something keeps on telling me that I need to listen to God's call and I need to trust in Him and have the courage to follow His next plan for me.

Courage

Something that can always be worked on.

I've only been graduated for 11 days and I think I've been asked 10,000,000 times what I plan on doing, or what I would like to do, or if I have a job yet.  I don't mind the questions, but I think that I will love it when I have something concrete to actually tell them.

The truth is that I don't know where I am going to be next week, I don't know where I will be next month.  I don't know what will make me totally happy in the job world, other than knowing that by doing God's will on Earth will make me happy and content.  I know I don't have a job yet and I now know that it is much more then just writing a resume (that is only the first step of many).

There is much that I don't know, but I do know that I am on a journey and I pray that this journey that I am taking is the same path that God has planned for me.  I can only hope to do His will.

The footprints poem comes to mind.  I have the last quot on a little plaque sitting on my desk.

"My Precious, precious child, 
I love you and I would never leave you. 
During your times of trial and suffering, 
when you see only one set of footprints, 
it was then that I carried you."

Change

Well I graduated a week ago and I can't believe that I should be here already.  I think that I am horrible with change and I hate when everything changes at once.  But I think when anyone has to go through that we all have a road sign that tells us that we should be expecting it

Now wouldn't that just be helpful to have that sign. Now I know that if I had the time to reflect upon what was all going on in my life I would be able to understand that change was going to be coming.  But Because I was so busy with school and projects, I didn't have time to reflect upon what was actually coming in my life.

I am a college graduate, how did they let that happen? I should still be a freshman that doesn't know my way around the campus and still gets buildings confused (well when they change building names that does get confusing as well).  But I don't know how four years have gone by already and it is time for me to let go.

Albert Einstein says:

“Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.” 

We have to know when it is time to turn the page and begin a new chapter of our lives.  While that sounds exciting, it also brings about the fact that everything that I have had these past four years I have to let go of and only take what I have learned from those experiences.  I know I shouldn't be afraid because I know that I am going to be guided, but it is the whole letting go that I need to do.

I know that deep down I am looking forward to this new chapter of my life, because I know that there will be exciting things that are going to be headed my way.  I know that if this was a book, it would make for a very good chapter.  But it is really only going to get better from here and I can't wait.  I know that with God's guidance and with my family and friends this is going to be a new chapter.

So let the page turn, and shall I never look back in regret. For this new chapter is going to be one for the story books!  :-) 

time is flying!

Today I had my very last day of class as a college undergrad.  It is weird to think that I'm not really going to be there really anymore.  My school has been with me for four years now, and I feel like it really has become a part of me.

The crazy thing is that I never expected that to happen.  I never thought that I would love my university.  But somewhere I stopped trying to hate it, and I really began to enjoy my time there. I have met some of the best people that are now some of my close dear friends and I wouldn't want my life any other way.

It is amazing on how a life can change just with choosing what university to go to.

I have been blessed, and I have met some great people.

But now it is time to stop, hang up my coat, and move on.  Because the sun is setting on this chapter of my life. While there is darkness after a sunset, there is also a sun rise on a new day

17 days

How can there be so little time between right now at this moment and the time that I graduate?  I sometime feel like my life is spinning out of control and I can't seem to figure out how to hold onto the wheel.  It has been an up and down roller coaster just this past week, and I don't know when I am going to get off.

At one moment I have having the time of my life, looking forward to graduation and my future (whatever that may be), but then I think the higher the hill, the greater the fall, and the more hurt.  I feel as if my life is so crazy right now with school that I am letting my family down, I don't give enough time to them.  I am at home and awake, but that is usually the time that they are all in bed already.

There are moments that I have a smile on my face because this is what I have been working for, graduating from college. But at other times it almost feels as if there are tears in my eyes because everything that I have worked for, everything that I have done at IPFW will all be coming to an end in 17 days. It is like leaving a past self behind.

Four years ago I started a group and we were small at first

First event for Students for Life - Chalk Walk Spring 2009

But just this January we took the biggest group to Washington D.C.

March for Life - January 2012

It is amazing with everything that has happened, and I know that it is time to let go of what I know and what is comfortable and move on. and I didn't expect it to be so hard.

I didn't expect it to be so hard.

Holy Week

This is the week when so many of us are reminded how blessed, and how loved we really are.  By His wounds we are healed.

Every year for the past seven or eight years of so I have had the same song in my head during this time each year.  It is a song that my 8th grade choir sang during Holy Week.  It is calls "Face the Cross" and it is about how we have to look at the cross and never turn away from it.

In my head, driving in my car, when I am doing homework it is in my head.  It is just one of those things that have stuck with me over the years that I don't think that I will ever be able to get out of my head. Finding this song on line is a  chore in itself. Because I guess it isn't a common song to have.  But I have found it, (Here) for your listening pleasure. It is just so awesome, now it didn't sound this good when my choir sang it, because let's face it, we we 8th graders.

Today is just Wednesday, and the week is only going to get better. Because let's face it, this is the best week in the church! So have a blessed and happy Holy Week :-)

The Final Moments

Have you ever been to a midnight showing of the last film of a trilogy or a series?  Have you ever bought the last book of the series that you have been reading for years?  The lead up to the last scene, the last moment is what we have been waiting for. But, when it gets there, you realize that you didn't think that it would ever come to an end.

That is how this week has been feeling for me, and I have been associating it with when I read the last Harry Potter book and when I saw the last movie.  It was the end of something that had been a part of your life for so long that you never thought that it would come to an end.

This coming Friday is my last day at the job that I have had for almost 4 years, and even though I knew that this day would come, I didn't think that it would come.  I know that sounds stupid, but, when you are somewhere for so long and you know that you are only going to be there as long as you are in college, you sometimes don't connect the two timelines together.

It is an end of an era. I thought that I was ready to say goodbye to the people that I have worked beside for 4 years.  But when I had to start doing that this past Saturday, I felt a ting of sadness. I'm read to move on, don't get me wrong, the unknown frontier is an exciting place to look at.  But it is the people that I am going to miss.  I cherish all of the moments that I have had, but it is time to move on.

God is the writer of my story.  But I can't stay stagnate, I have to keep moving, I just have to listen, to pray for his guidance on where to go to next.  He knows, I just have to let myself go and give it all up to Him.  God is great and I am just his hands and feet on this earth.

Not my will, but His be done.

Trusting in God's way

Do you ever have those times where you have so much to get done, but your mind is on one thing that you have to get it out, so you will be able to consintrate on everything else that you have to get done?

Well that is where I am right now.  Today's topic is trusting in God's way, even when you don't understand and know where he wants you to head.  Life is always crazy but God is always great.

I know that it seems nieve of me, but I always thought that people and companies cared for the people that they are around, and not the almighty bottom line.  But like the NFL things play out, and sometimes what come out of that isn't what you expect.  Sometimes it just feels like a stab in the back that you know will never change.

Now after an emotional rollar coster that I have been on this past weekend, I realize that human can always have the potential of failing you. But God will always be there for you carring you through.  Now I'm not saying that all people have suprised me.  My close friends and family have been helping me too.  But I like to quote Anne Frank: "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart" I like keeping that mind set through life, and I know that even if one person fails me, that doesn't mean that the whole human race has failed me.

God knows what he is doing, and I am not going to change the way I feel about my faith, just to keep some things in my life.  I am not going to be Judas and turn for the money.  God is worth more than anything in this world could give me.  I just have to keep telling myself that and I will make it through.  I know that he will carry me through. 

I know

While I have no idea where I am going, and I am walking blind.  God is my blind dog walking me through,  All I need to do is trust in him and hold onto the leash.  He will guide me in my path.

When did my Future start

Life has been crazy.  But I don't think that I could have it any other way.  Recently there have been more and more moments that have made me realize how close my future is.  I know that sounds stupid, but for the past 16+ years I have been in school and in those years I have been asked what I wanted to do when I grew up.

Well now just 63 days away from the moment when I 'grow up'.  This moment is coming, and luckily have have someone to keep me level headed.  :-)  But now is time to get realistic, now is the time to realize that my forever is starting and now it isn't just something that is in a future date.

I graduate in 63 days! only 63 days! while there are many school projects that I have to get done in those days, that isn't what I want to concentrate upon. I love where my life is going.  and I know that God is going to be the co-writer of my life.  I just know that He has a great story planned for me!

A New Page Turning

I feel like this week is going to be one of those weeks where things are just going to be changing.

I don't know what it really is, because on one hand it is exciting and yet on another it is the unknown.  My next door neighbors are moving to assisted living this week. and that is getting to be one of those inevitable things that I knew would come, but I never totally grasped it.  They have been like second grandparents for me and my sisters while we have grown up.

They would make us cookies, and random cakes.  They would send us birthday cards (when she arthritis wasn't bad she would draw us cards with Disney characters on them).  They had our spare key if we were ever locked out.  and they were always there.  Having them there, it taught me, while growing up, that you don't have to see eye to eye, to find one playing field that you are on an even field.

Over the past few years, they have been both been getting older. Him with diabetes, and her with a stroke that has left he not talking for over a year.  But, while their bodies are beginning to fail them, they are still the same neighbors that have been next door since we moved there before I was born.

My mother last year was helping our neighbor get a birthday gift for her husband.  She did it with my mother so it would be a surprise for him. Over his birthday she ended up being in the hospital again, but yet my mom brought the gift so she would be able to give it  to him.  Here she was a woman who couldn't speak, giving her husband a birthday gift.  My mom expressed the interaction as a strong man in spirit who has never cried much had tears in his eyes as his wife gave him a simple birthday gift.  Something so simple can change everything.

With them moving in the next few days it is making me realize how things will be so drastically different once their house is empty and then when someone else moves in. But I know that they will be better off when there are there.  They will have someone watching over them, and everything will be safer. But things will never be the same.

But that's okay  :-)

because no matter what changes in this world, the sun will rise and set. The coffee will brew in the morning, and the world will keep on spinning.  We are all on a journey our choices that we make in our every day lives will take us forward.  It is up to us (and God) to figure out where that forward will take us.

So Marge and Dave, may God bless you on your next journey and may you never forget your neighbors who will always be here, helping you through. Because you will always be our neighbors. Love always

Sometimes it isn't about where you are

Sometimes it doesn't matter where you are in life, it is more about where you are going to be going.  If you have no future plans, any road will take you there.

It is better to have an idea of where you are going to be wanting to go, then have no plan of where you want to go.  Having goals, and dreams you have something to reach for.  It isn't always about exactly reaching the dream exactly, but it is more about hitting it close.

Have a goal, have a dream.  Think big.  Don't stifle yourself because you don't think that you can, because you can if you put your time, mind and effort into those dreams

I think that one thing that is good to remember, is that you have to be flexible, because dreams can change, and your life can take you down different roads.  You can't just settle for what your dreams were 5 years ago.  You have to keep on dreaming and keep evolving into the person that you are meant to become.

Remember to dream, remember to plan,  but also be prepared to change those dreams into the new dreams that you might change to.

question for the day

So today I was trying to organize my scrapbook stuff and I was going through my old planners.  One one of the days I have this written on it: What would you do if you weren't afraid?

This was written over a year and a half ago, and I think that it is always a great thing to ask yourself. But what is really holding us back from what we want to do with our lives?  Fear is usually what we hold back, we just need to remember that we should not let fear hold us back.

So just remember don't let fear hold us back.  So you would never have to ask yourself what would have you done, if something wasn't holding us back.

Trusting

Trusting is one of those things that we think that we all possess.  But do we really? How often do we spread around a secret? how often do we withhold information so that you don't trust the other person enough to help you carry your own life crosses.

Trust

During my morning prayer today there was a verse from Jeremiah, I believe. "Curse is the man who trusts in human beings, who seeks his strength in flesh.... Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is in the Lord."

Now I know that this verse is not telling us that we should trust others, and we shouldn't place our trust in others.  But I think that what it is saying is that we can't truly place our trust in others unless we already have placed our trust in God.  We should turn to him first when we are having a bad day.

Who wouldn't want to be given comfort from God? Humans have been exposed to sin, we are imperfect. Even if we strive to do good.  The devil has a mighty hand upon the world.  But God is stronger and he trusts, and loves us enough to give us free will to choose him.

---

I could go on, but that would make this really long. Until Next time.

Happy Lent

Handling Adversity

I read this story/lesson at work and I just really wanted to share it with everyone:
------

A woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She didn't know how she was going to make it and wanted to five up.  She was tied of fighting and struggling. It seemed just as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second, she placed eggs, and the last she places ground coffee beans.



Her mother let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. She then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," her daughter replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her daughter to take an egg and break it.  After pulling off the shell, the daughter observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked her daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted it and smelled its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What is the point, Mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrots went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you," she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

-----

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength. Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the vary circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets how, it releases the fragrance and the flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Emulate the Greatest Love

LOVE!

Songs have been written about it, poems have tried to fully express it.  Plays have been written, movies have been made.  Cards exchanged, gifts given, and hearts shared.  All done just to try to fully express what is true real love.

What is true love? People have been wondering this question for ages, and we as a society are getting away from what is close to real.  The greatest love stories are the ones that get the closest to the real love, the truest love that we as humans could ever possibly know.  

What is this true love? The love that God has for His Son and the love that He has for us.  We are sinners and yet, he came to this earth to show us that despite all of the sin in the world, that we are worth fighting for.  We are worth every effort that he gives us.  We don't deserve a love like the love that he has shown us, but that is the point.  That deep of a love, we don't ever deserve it,  but that is what makes this love story so great. 

Our love.  People might say that it is impossible to even try to emulate this love.  And on one hand I would have to agree with them.  We will never be able to come close to this type of love, and we will never be able to surpass this love.  We are humans, and He is God, it is impossible to love more than He does.  But we can strive for that greatness.  We can work to have the greatest love story that strives to come close to this love that God gives us each and every day.

We all have this great love story to see what real love is.  We don't need to look to the world to learn what love is, because we have the greatest love story to strive for.  Don't worry about the ways that the world tells us to love.  

Our love stories will be something of greatness if we just strive to come close to the greatest love story that we have been given to emulate. :-)

The Horizon coming closer

The second week of school has started and I have been looking at my class syllabus, looking to see what  this semester is going to entail. Then it hit me. Four pieces of paper is all that stands between me and graduation.

Four calenders, four professors, four room, five textbooks (lucky me one class has two...), four groups, and such.

Those little numbers make it daunting.  Daunting in a good way. It is just so weird to think that four years ago I was just thinking about graduating from High School, and now I am in my senior year at school and looking forward to the future.  How crazy awesome life can be.

Enjoy the moments that you have.  Cherish each second.  Love to the tips of your fingers, and strive to your highers potential. :-)