Looking ahead

I think that all that I have talked about recently is looking towards the future.  But right now I think that is all that I really know for sure: uncertainty.  All I know that I need to trust in God and by doing that, things will fall into place.  Through this entire journey I think that there are times when I could have given up and just gone a different direction, but something keeps on telling me that I need to listen to God's call and I need to trust in Him and have the courage to follow His next plan for me.

Courage

Something that can always be worked on.

I've only been graduated for 11 days and I think I've been asked 10,000,000 times what I plan on doing, or what I would like to do, or if I have a job yet.  I don't mind the questions, but I think that I will love it when I have something concrete to actually tell them.

The truth is that I don't know where I am going to be next week, I don't know where I will be next month.  I don't know what will make me totally happy in the job world, other than knowing that by doing God's will on Earth will make me happy and content.  I know I don't have a job yet and I now know that it is much more then just writing a resume (that is only the first step of many).

There is much that I don't know, but I do know that I am on a journey and I pray that this journey that I am taking is the same path that God has planned for me.  I can only hope to do His will.

The footprints poem comes to mind.  I have the last quot on a little plaque sitting on my desk.

"My Precious, precious child, 
I love you and I would never leave you. 
During your times of trial and suffering, 
when you see only one set of footprints, 
it was then that I carried you."

What is truly important in life?

There is a poem that I would like to share that seems to really speak of this question.  It doesn't matter when we are born, or when we die. But what happens in the middle

The Dash
by: Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first come the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years

For that dash represented all the time
that she spent alive on earth
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
    The cars,
     the house,
     the cash,
what matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives,
life we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
with your life's actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?

-----------------------

How do we live our lives to our greatest potential? Do we squander our time? Do we waste the gifts that we have been given from God?  Life isn't about the movies that we have seen, or the cars that we have owned.  It doesn't matter how much money that we have in our bank, or how much education that we have.

What truly matters is how we impact the world for the greater, who we have loved, and who has loved us back. Life is about Family, friends, and living for God.

So next time that we have to make a decision, maybe we should be thinking about how we can better our 'dash'. Maybe the first step is to realize that we aren't just living for ourselves, but for someone greater.

Let the light of Christ shine through you in every action that you do. How else do you really want to spend your dash?

A poem to think about

So I am still working though the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (don't get me wrong it is a great book, but I have been really busy with school) and there is a chapter titled Ready for the Sack but not for the Sacrifice it talks about how the majority of people think of marriage as one thing, while there is more to a marriage then the honeymoon or the wedding.  While all of those things can be great in those respects, it shouldn't be what we aim for when we think of marriage.

While I am still single I am called to remain holy in that vocation, but still prepare myself for whatever might come in the future.

That is a poem by Lena Lathrop titled "A Woman's Answer to a Man's Question". and I would really like to share it with you.

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing,
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life- 
And a woman's wonderful love.


Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With a reckless dash of a boy.


You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now standing at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.


You require your mutton shall always be hoy, 
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven, your soul


You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts-0
I look for a man and a king.


A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: "It is very good."


I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?


Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.


I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I will stake my life
To be all you demand of me.


If you cannot by this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

I think that this poem, while a bit outdated (she died just a bit before 1900), but I think that it has total truth in what she says. Read it again, there is more to a marriage than one night, or the other things that you will benefit from.

Well a final paper is calling my name, so that is all that I wanted to talk about right now.

Forgiveness

So recently I have been working through a book titled: I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.  While you might first think that the book is about not dating, it isn't. It is about being pure in the relationships that you have and to gain a new attitude towards romance and relationships.

It has taken me forever to get to read this book.  One of my older sister gave it to me to read over 4 years ago, and I wish that I had read it back then. But I guess that God knew that maybe right now was a better time for me to read it. (When I barely have time for homework and all of my projects....)But maybe that is what was supposed to happen.

While I work through the rest of the book I have decided to share with you, and myself, the points that really stood out to me.  I am going to start with a story that Joshua tells about a dream that he once had.  Joshua calls this dream: The Room. pages 104-107 in my book.  I don't claim any of the following story is mine, it is totally Joshua's.

"In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was the one that read 'Girls I have Liked' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

"And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

" A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.  A file names 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed'

"The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. 'Books I have read,' 'lies I have told,' 'comfort I have given,' 'jokes I have laughed at.' Some were almost hilarious in the their exactness: 'things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'things I have done in anger,' 'things I have muttered under my breath at my parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer cards that I hoped.

"I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

"When I pulled out the file marked 'songs I have listened to' I realized the file grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but the more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

"When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

"Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: 'No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

"Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore ' People I have shared the Gospel with.' The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

"And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt starting in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know about this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

"But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

"I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

"Finally He turned and looked at my from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. HE walked over and put his arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

"Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, bagan to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!' I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there is was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

"He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how he did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said 'It is finished.'

"I stood up, and He lead me out of the room. There was no lock in its door. There were still cards to be written."

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Yes I know that was a bit long to read for a blog, but it seemed that one I had to practice my typing skills, and two that I should share that story with you all (whoever you is)

We have to remember that no matter how many times that we mess up, no matter how many mistakes that we make in our life, God is there ready to forgive us, all we have to do is ask.  Sometimes we can't forget the memories, but we have to remember that no matter how bad those regrets are in our past God is ready to forgive us.  He has already died for our sins.

He is just waiting for us. 

We have to be ready to give our burdens up. For Jesus carried the cross for our sins, he has carried the burdens.  So we can have the chance, the opportunity, and the freedom to walk straight again.

All we have to do is let go of those which are holding us back.