It is in a Moment

Yesterday Travis and I was blessed to have our first glimpse of our little one during our first ultrasound.  It is one wonderful thing to hear the baby's heartbeat at each of the appointments, but to finally see our baby's face for the first time...

It is a moment to see our baby yawn a few times, 

to stretch his/her little feet & legs, 

to see the little nose and little chin...

Baby's Profile

Holding Travis' hand as we see the technician measure the head, show us the heart and the heartbeat, measuring the legs and arms.  It is a moment that I will cherish.

It is in a moment where your husband comments that it is a blessing that the baby had two arms, two legs, one head, and 4 chambers beating in the heart.  Seeing Travis' smile, and seeing the look of pride he already has for his little one.

Taking joy in the simple blessings.  

Having a picture of the baby opening his/her mouth and eye and having a arm raised.  Almost looking like he/she was saying hello.

"For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well."

~ Psalm 139:13-14 ~

It is in a moment when Travis points out that it looks like the baby has my chin.  Moments when the technician hands you a row of photos from your appointment and tells you congratulations.   Walking out of the office holding Travis' hand, knowing that we are a family.

From Left: Baby's Leg, Baby 'Smiling' (aka. yawn), and Baby's chin

Those moments that we hold dear.  It is in those simple moments that you see the wonder of God working through your life, forming this precious gift of a child, with us.

We Wore Black

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. One moment you are crying and the next you are laughing with wonderful memories. My grandma was a wonderful women who lived her life as a house maker,  who was married to grandpa for 65 years(!!!),  raised her children and was a wonderful grandmother and great-grandma.

Grandma Hold me as a newborn

While I didn't know her the best or the longest, I knew her as a grandmother.  Having that for 24 years have been a blessing and now I have wonderful memories to hold onto.

1. Food

No matter what time of day you would visit grandma and grandpa's house,  you would always leave with a full stomach.

Small boxes of cereal - whenever we would spend the night at the grandparent's house we would wake up to picking out one of the small cereal boxes grandma would have sitting out. It wouldn't be spending the night we would get a delicious sugary cereal in the morning.

Popcorn puffs & sun chips - when playing any game you would only be able to go one round and grandma would be pulling out the plastic pink bowls to be filled with popcorn puffs or some original flavored sun chips. While at first people would say that they weren't hungry (usually because it was right after dinner) but it wouldn't take too long for those bowls to be passed around and quickly would be empty.

Ice cream and brownies - after cards and before you leave,  it was always a good time to pull the brownies or cookies out of the freezer (usually pulled out earlier to warm up) the big container of vanilla ice cream,  and sometimes other flavors, and the chocolate syrup. If you finished your bowl,  you would be asked to

take another brownie or cookie (couldn't dare put them back in the freezer)

2. A&W

Usually when visiting Grandma and Grandpa's one of the places we would usually go to,  especially when we were growing up,  dinner would likely be at A&W where Grandpa would always get root beer float and Grandma would always get a bite or two near the top of glass. Growing up the younger kids would play in the corner with the toys while we waited for the food (when they moved the play area from one corner to the other,  we were a bit jarred). We were always excited to get the small toy in our bags once we finished our food.

3. 5 Crowns & tri-ominos

Playing games around the dinner table at Grandpa and Grandma's were always a norm when visiting.  We would play tri-ominos and Grandma & Grandpa would always find the bridges or the last piece to the circle. It was hard to beat either of them.  When we started to play a new game Nickle Nickle (later 5 crowns - but we would still say "nickle nickle").  Winning was still difficult because Grandma would have 7 points after six rounds and the rest of us would have scores in the 60's (or higher).  Over the years you knew Grandma was doing well still when she could beat your butt at 5 Crowns.

Grandpa, me and Grandma after 8th Grade Graduation

4. Birthday cards

In the past years, it wasn't a gift I was looking forward to, it was a card that you would get in the mail a day or so before your birthday.  It would be a card that inside you would see Grandma's handwriting saying: "Love, Grandma and Grandpa"

Grandma and Grandpa with me at First Communion

Those simple words that I know were getting hard for her to write (writing "Mom and Dad" were much easier on her), but every birthday you would get a card that would be from Grandma and Grandpa.  When I got home from work the day Grandma died, I still had my birthday cards sitting out.  Having that simple piece of card stock meant the world to me at that moment, more than ever before.  The other cards have been packed away, but that one is still sitting out.  And I think I will keep it there for awhile.

5. Being there for grandchildren

Grandma and Grandpa were there for wonderful moments for their grandchildren.  Baptisms, Birthdays, First Communions, Confirmations, Graduations, weddings, and parties.  They were there spreading their smile and support for all of their grandchildren.

6. The outpouring of love seen

Having gone to two of the three showings, you just saw how much Grandma affected the community.  There always seemed to be a line of well wishers, and relatives that I didn't even know before that day were there to pay their respects.  It was just amazing to see how many people were there!

The Grandchildren with Grandma and Grandpa - Christmas 2007

7. Funeral mass

While that was the hardest points of the few days, it was also beautiful!  St. John's Church is majestic and can by itself take your breath away, but add a church filled with with community members, and friends of the family, it was an amazing experience!

The music by their men's choir was wonderful!  It was almost like if you closed your eyes it was like a slice of heaven!  I have had that moment twice before (in Spain a Church next to St. Francis of Loyola's home where we had Mass, and then at me wedding).  You could just imagine if heaven was even more wonderful, then you just knew that it was going to be absolutely amazing! The homily was wonderful, pointing out the
simplicity of Grandma and how being a housewife was enough for her.  There were tear and smiles as we said our goodbyes.

Grandpa, me, and Grandma before the wedding

8. Wedding

I was so blessed to have Grandma and Grandpa come to my wedding at the beginning of July!  Even the day before I wasn't sure if they would be coming.  But,  as I was heading to the back of church to 'hide' there come Grandma and Grandpa through the back door!  I was so thrilled that they came!  It was the cherry on the top for that day.  I just got my wedding pictures back, and now I treasure those photos even that much more!

9. Her voice

This is something that I still hear, especially when thinking and reflecting over Grandma.  I can hear her voice when I called her to tell them that Travis and I were engaged.  I remember her saying: "Bounce" so many times and in so many different ways.  It is something that I hope that I never forget because it was so grandma. nobody else could replicate it.

The First time that Grandma held me in the hospital

While Grandma is gone, her spirit still lives on in her children, her grandchildren, and in her great-grandchildren.  Through the years she taught us so much that we could never really totally forget Grandma.  Just remember that when you have guests over, always have a snack, and ice cream (and brownies) are always good to have on hand.

Rest in peace Grandma.  Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand!


R.I.P. Margaret Pohlman (1925 - 2013)
Obituary

My 24th Year Retrospective

Here we are, September 18th and I am turning another year older.  My 24th year on earth was one with highs and low but I think that it is one that I will remember for a long time.  So here is 10 of the things that were a part of my life this past year:

1. ARISE Together in Christ Group

In the Fort Wayne-South Bend Diocese our Bishop started this small faith sharing community group initiative that brings people together in your church and talk about the Faith through scripture, life and challenges.  Travis was the leader for the young adults at St. Aloysius and I joined him.  By the end of the first season we had made this wonderful group of young adults (mostly our friends from IPFW, but not all).

I am so grateful for this small group because after college and leaving the Newman group at IPFW, I missed having that Catholic fellowship.  Sometimes we don't always stay on topic, but it is a wonderful time to grow in friendship and be there for others when needed. Learn more about Arise from an article in Today's Catholic that features yours truly!

2. Engagement / Wedding Planning

Looking on this past year, this was a huge part of it.  While we got engaged in August, the real planning took place this past year.  What a roller coaster of things to do.  Some were great like meeting with Fr. Tom for Marriage prep at St. Jude. But, some of the other things were just crazy (I am not a hugely social person that plans huge parties focused on me and Travis)

While I am glad that the season of engagement is over in my life, I truly took back on that time fondly.  It was a wonderful time where you are preparing yourself for a wonderful and beautiful vocation.

3. Saying goodbye to the Overby's

I think that growing up we had the world's best neighbors!  It is hard for anyone to get close to Marge and Dave.  Marge and I were birthday buddies and growing up we (my sisters and I) would receive a hand drawn birthday card with a Disney character on it.  Marge would 'happen' to make an extra cake and bring it over, or she wanted to try a recipe and Dave couldn't eat it because of his diabetes so she would bring it over.  They were wonderful neighbors that were called away from this earth.

Marge passed away on Christmas Eve and Dave passed away 10 days latter.  That was a bit hard because they were like grandparents to me, but I hold on to the good memories.  I could reflect on these wonderful neighbors for hours, but on a day like today I just say, rest in peace Birthday Buddy!

4. Florida Trip

Mom, Dad, Angela and I took a trip to visit our Aunt and Uncle in Florida on January 1st.  It was crazy to be driving to Dayton in snow and arriving in Tampa in 80 degree weather.  Dad kept on saying: " It is January 1st and I am in shorts!" "It is January Second and I and sitting on the beach!"

Me, Dad, Mom, and Ang

While we were there I believe that it got to about zero Fahrenheit... So it was nice to be warm!  It was a perfect last family trip with us four!  This was a wonderful time to celebrate family!

5.  Two New Nephews

Luke was just making the same face as me!

I was lucky to have Two nephews born this past year! Luke James was born March 29th and Thatcher Dennis was born September 9th.  How can you not be excited about babies in the family!?!

6. Being Brooklynn's Sponsor

Travis' niece (now my niece as well!) asked me to be her sponsor for confirmation.  I was really excited that she asked me and I love being a part of sacraments.  While we were already engaged, I felt even more part of the family after being asked.

Brooklynn, Bishop Rhoades and Me

She really tested me and my memory skills though because she picked a saint that I has never heard of before: St. Marcella patron saint of Nobel women.  But it was wonderful to be a part of this with her!

7. The year of two Popes

It was a crazy beginning of the year with Pope Benedict retiring and Pope Francis becoming Pope.  But is has been exciting to see all of the spirit that seems to have been brought into the church. A renewed sense of Love.

I saw a post ones that Pope John Paul II was all about Hope and what we went through with World War II and the cold war, he showed the church and world love.  Benedict was the scholar that educated us about the faith.  Now, Pope Francis is showing the love the the faith can offer.  It is a trifecta of Popes in my lifetime!

8. Renting House

Travis and I become renters.  He moved into the house in April and I am still working at unpacking boxes...  I will eventually be all moved it... eventually... But it has been a wonderful experience.  We live right across the street from St. Jude so we never have to worry about parking for Mass, we just have to walk!

While we aren't going to be there forever, it is a great first place to make a home!

9.  Changing my last name

Marrying my best friend has been a highlight of this past year.  Changing last name a bit harder and a tedious process.  You don't realize how many places have your information until you see how many places you need to change your address and name (still an ongoing process).  But I love the Day I become a Mrs.  it is crazy to think that it has been 2 months already!

But Becoming Mrs. has been wonderful and sometimes I still look around and ask if it is real, because it just seems so natural now.  I love coming home to Travis (well, I usually beat him home...)  but it has all been a blessing!

10.  Starting a new Life 

While this past year has been filled with its ups and downs it is always wonderful to look back ans see how blessed I truly am.  I have a wonderful husband, family, and friends! I couldn't ask for more!  Thank you all for what you have done to my life and I am forever grateful!  Please continue to keep Travis and I in your prayers as we begin this new journey of life together.

Now onto being 24!!

Taking me Back

I have decided that it is due time to start writing again.  Not like my life is really interesting, or that anyone would read this.  But I think that it helps also to provide clarity of mind.  Sometimes I think too much and all of my thoughts get jumbles and this helps a bit.

There has been too much going on since I last wrote, that I am not going to to a catch up piece, because that would almost take up toooo much time.  So we are going to start fresh.

Today at work we had Mass in our small chapel and I was transported back to Spain for World Youth Day almost two years ago.  This was my first big trip without my family, and it was across the ocean and I really didn't have contact with them other than the three times I blogged while on my trip and they had commented on the blog. And even though I was traveling with the Diocese, none of my close friends went, so it wasn't like any normal trip I had taken before.

The church we went to and what it looked on the outside - would you guess it was a church?

To say the least, I felt like I was a bit cut off from everyone. We traveled to Lourdes (which was amazing) and by the time that we got into Madrid a bit of home-sickness come on.  It was one of the first days there and I was having a bit of an off morning, not feeling like talking and interacting.  We had gone to this church in Madrid for English speakers and had a talk and then Mass.

One it was hot, two no air conditioning, and three we were in the loft area.... I was just trying to stay in my own little bubble.

Second level can be seen on the right

I was stuck....

But then came the point in the Mass that we said (one of the points that was changed in the new translation...) "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and i shall be healed." I was taken home and I felt like I was getting a big hug and that even though I was far away from everyone, I wasn't alone and they were right there with me.  I was across the ocean and we were able to hear the same Mass.

Even when we say the new part: "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."  I am taken back to that moment, when I remembered that I wasn't alone then, and I can never really ever be alone.  

There is comfort in that :-)

Learning from my Past to Improve the Future

So it has almost been a yer already that I traveled across the pond and went to Spain. But I still find myself reflecting upon that trip every once in awhile.  I think that I have taken more from that trip since I have been back than I really did while I was there.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that I was actually in Spain, and France.

Lourdes, France

But thinking about where I have been, makes me realize how much has really changed in the past few years.  I wouldn't change anything really because even though there have been lows, I have also found that it was through those lows that I have gone to different heights from those lows.

So I guess what I want to say is that: If you have been a part of my past, thank you for being a part of my life.  I would not be the person that I am today without you.  If you are a part of my present thanks for sticking with me through the ups and downs (or you have to because we are related by blood.... ;-).....) and to those who are going to be a part of my future, I'm praying that God will use me to help you and that you will help me.

Blessings :-)

The Final Moments

Have you ever been to a midnight showing of the last film of a trilogy or a series?  Have you ever bought the last book of the series that you have been reading for years?  The lead up to the last scene, the last moment is what we have been waiting for. But, when it gets there, you realize that you didn't think that it would ever come to an end.

That is how this week has been feeling for me, and I have been associating it with when I read the last Harry Potter book and when I saw the last movie.  It was the end of something that had been a part of your life for so long that you never thought that it would come to an end.

This coming Friday is my last day at the job that I have had for almost 4 years, and even though I knew that this day would come, I didn't think that it would come.  I know that sounds stupid, but, when you are somewhere for so long and you know that you are only going to be there as long as you are in college, you sometimes don't connect the two timelines together.

It is an end of an era. I thought that I was ready to say goodbye to the people that I have worked beside for 4 years.  But when I had to start doing that this past Saturday, I felt a ting of sadness. I'm read to move on, don't get me wrong, the unknown frontier is an exciting place to look at.  But it is the people that I am going to miss.  I cherish all of the moments that I have had, but it is time to move on.

God is the writer of my story.  But I can't stay stagnate, I have to keep moving, I just have to listen, to pray for his guidance on where to go to next.  He knows, I just have to let myself go and give it all up to Him.  God is great and I am just his hands and feet on this earth.

Not my will, but His be done.

The Horizon coming closer

The second week of school has started and I have been looking at my class syllabus, looking to see what  this semester is going to entail. Then it hit me. Four pieces of paper is all that stands between me and graduation.

Four calenders, four professors, four room, five textbooks (lucky me one class has two...), four groups, and such.

Those little numbers make it daunting.  Daunting in a good way. It is just so weird to think that four years ago I was just thinking about graduating from High School, and now I am in my senior year at school and looking forward to the future.  How crazy awesome life can be.

Enjoy the moments that you have.  Cherish each second.  Love to the tips of your fingers, and strive to your highers potential. :-)

when new feels old and old feels new

Sometimes you are reminded on how lucky you are in your own life.   There are those moments where something that is new feels like it has been around forever, but then there are also those moments where something old feels alive and fresh again.

What a great way to live, because I think that it makes you appreciate what you have more, and helps you realize all that you have been given in life.  If it a friendship that has come back around, when you didn't think it was there anymore.  Or if it is a relationship just beginning that feels as if it has been longer than what it really has been.

Keeping things fresh, like a bouquet of flowers.  By having the old feel new and the new feel old it is like you are replacing the dying flowers with new ones, and also adding to the arrangement.  So by the end of the day you are left with a fresh bouquet that smells beautiful.

So here's to keeping the bouquet of life fresh!