It is in a Moment

Yesterday Travis and I was blessed to have our first glimpse of our little one during our first ultrasound.  It is one wonderful thing to hear the baby's heartbeat at each of the appointments, but to finally see our baby's face for the first time...

It is a moment to see our baby yawn a few times, 

to stretch his/her little feet & legs, 

to see the little nose and little chin...

Baby's Profile

Holding Travis' hand as we see the technician measure the head, show us the heart and the heartbeat, measuring the legs and arms.  It is a moment that I will cherish.

It is in a moment where your husband comments that it is a blessing that the baby had two arms, two legs, one head, and 4 chambers beating in the heart.  Seeing Travis' smile, and seeing the look of pride he already has for his little one.

Taking joy in the simple blessings.  

Having a picture of the baby opening his/her mouth and eye and having a arm raised.  Almost looking like he/she was saying hello.

"For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well."

~ Psalm 139:13-14 ~

It is in a moment when Travis points out that it looks like the baby has my chin.  Moments when the technician hands you a row of photos from your appointment and tells you congratulations.   Walking out of the office holding Travis' hand, knowing that we are a family.

From Left: Baby's Leg, Baby 'Smiling' (aka. yawn), and Baby's chin

Those moments that we hold dear.  It is in those simple moments that you see the wonder of God working through your life, forming this precious gift of a child, with us.

We Wore Black

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. One moment you are crying and the next you are laughing with wonderful memories. My grandma was a wonderful women who lived her life as a house maker,  who was married to grandpa for 65 years(!!!),  raised her children and was a wonderful grandmother and great-grandma.

Grandma Hold me as a newborn

While I didn't know her the best or the longest, I knew her as a grandmother.  Having that for 24 years have been a blessing and now I have wonderful memories to hold onto.

1. Food

No matter what time of day you would visit grandma and grandpa's house,  you would always leave with a full stomach.

Small boxes of cereal - whenever we would spend the night at the grandparent's house we would wake up to picking out one of the small cereal boxes grandma would have sitting out. It wouldn't be spending the night we would get a delicious sugary cereal in the morning.

Popcorn puffs & sun chips - when playing any game you would only be able to go one round and grandma would be pulling out the plastic pink bowls to be filled with popcorn puffs or some original flavored sun chips. While at first people would say that they weren't hungry (usually because it was right after dinner) but it wouldn't take too long for those bowls to be passed around and quickly would be empty.

Ice cream and brownies - after cards and before you leave,  it was always a good time to pull the brownies or cookies out of the freezer (usually pulled out earlier to warm up) the big container of vanilla ice cream,  and sometimes other flavors, and the chocolate syrup. If you finished your bowl,  you would be asked to

take another brownie or cookie (couldn't dare put them back in the freezer)

2. A&W

Usually when visiting Grandma and Grandpa's one of the places we would usually go to,  especially when we were growing up,  dinner would likely be at A&W where Grandpa would always get root beer float and Grandma would always get a bite or two near the top of glass. Growing up the younger kids would play in the corner with the toys while we waited for the food (when they moved the play area from one corner to the other,  we were a bit jarred). We were always excited to get the small toy in our bags once we finished our food.

3. 5 Crowns & tri-ominos

Playing games around the dinner table at Grandpa and Grandma's were always a norm when visiting.  We would play tri-ominos and Grandma & Grandpa would always find the bridges or the last piece to the circle. It was hard to beat either of them.  When we started to play a new game Nickle Nickle (later 5 crowns - but we would still say "nickle nickle").  Winning was still difficult because Grandma would have 7 points after six rounds and the rest of us would have scores in the 60's (or higher).  Over the years you knew Grandma was doing well still when she could beat your butt at 5 Crowns.

Grandpa, me and Grandma after 8th Grade Graduation

4. Birthday cards

In the past years, it wasn't a gift I was looking forward to, it was a card that you would get in the mail a day or so before your birthday.  It would be a card that inside you would see Grandma's handwriting saying: "Love, Grandma and Grandpa"

Grandma and Grandpa with me at First Communion

Those simple words that I know were getting hard for her to write (writing "Mom and Dad" were much easier on her), but every birthday you would get a card that would be from Grandma and Grandpa.  When I got home from work the day Grandma died, I still had my birthday cards sitting out.  Having that simple piece of card stock meant the world to me at that moment, more than ever before.  The other cards have been packed away, but that one is still sitting out.  And I think I will keep it there for awhile.

5. Being there for grandchildren

Grandma and Grandpa were there for wonderful moments for their grandchildren.  Baptisms, Birthdays, First Communions, Confirmations, Graduations, weddings, and parties.  They were there spreading their smile and support for all of their grandchildren.

6. The outpouring of love seen

Having gone to two of the three showings, you just saw how much Grandma affected the community.  There always seemed to be a line of well wishers, and relatives that I didn't even know before that day were there to pay their respects.  It was just amazing to see how many people were there!

The Grandchildren with Grandma and Grandpa - Christmas 2007

7. Funeral mass

While that was the hardest points of the few days, it was also beautiful!  St. John's Church is majestic and can by itself take your breath away, but add a church filled with with community members, and friends of the family, it was an amazing experience!

The music by their men's choir was wonderful!  It was almost like if you closed your eyes it was like a slice of heaven!  I have had that moment twice before (in Spain a Church next to St. Francis of Loyola's home where we had Mass, and then at me wedding).  You could just imagine if heaven was even more wonderful, then you just knew that it was going to be absolutely amazing! The homily was wonderful, pointing out the
simplicity of Grandma and how being a housewife was enough for her.  There were tear and smiles as we said our goodbyes.

Grandpa, me, and Grandma before the wedding

8. Wedding

I was so blessed to have Grandma and Grandpa come to my wedding at the beginning of July!  Even the day before I wasn't sure if they would be coming.  But,  as I was heading to the back of church to 'hide' there come Grandma and Grandpa through the back door!  I was so thrilled that they came!  It was the cherry on the top for that day.  I just got my wedding pictures back, and now I treasure those photos even that much more!

9. Her voice

This is something that I still hear, especially when thinking and reflecting over Grandma.  I can hear her voice when I called her to tell them that Travis and I were engaged.  I remember her saying: "Bounce" so many times and in so many different ways.  It is something that I hope that I never forget because it was so grandma. nobody else could replicate it.

The First time that Grandma held me in the hospital

While Grandma is gone, her spirit still lives on in her children, her grandchildren, and in her great-grandchildren.  Through the years she taught us so much that we could never really totally forget Grandma.  Just remember that when you have guests over, always have a snack, and ice cream (and brownies) are always good to have on hand.

Rest in peace Grandma.  Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand!


R.I.P. Margaret Pohlman (1925 - 2013)
Obituary

Two Years Ago and Just a Blink

How has these past two years just flown by?  Two years ago I was blessed to start dating the man that became my best friend, and in 18 days I will be blessed and honored to call him my husband.

Travis and I even before we started dating

Two years ago Travis and I went on our first date :-)  We went bowling with Angela, and she was the one that had to convince me that it was actually a date.  I think that I was either in shock that it happened or that I was in denial and I never thought that it would happen.  I didn't realize then that I went on my last first date.  On that Saturday in 2011, I thought that I just went bowling with one of my friends from Newman Group and Students for Life. I was trying to make decisions, and decided to make the leap of faith.

Travis Proposing at Notre Dame 

 In two years we have gone from Friendship to Love, to Engagement, and now to (almost) married. Never did I think that I would be in this position two year ago.  But as always God has a better life story for us than what we could ever dream for.

Travis and I at a friends wedding

Our Journey has had its ups and downs, but I am a better person having Travis by my side.  Please keep us in your prayers as we get closer to our wedding date.  Because together with God we are going to start our life together and begin a new chapter of our lives :-)

One Year Ago

One year ago.... well one year ago I decided to take a jump off of the Grand Canyon of my life and I am so glad that i chose and followed that path.  Because my life now would not be the same if I didn't jump.

One year ago I went on my first date with Travis :-)  Leading up to that I had to make some choices, and I had to let go of some things that were holding me back.  But I jumped and my parachute opened. One year ago I thought that I was just lucky enough to go an a date with a great guy from school. Well, granted I didn't believe that it was a date and it took my younger sister to convince me that it was a date.

I became open to the possibility that God was going to work through me life, and He was going to lead me down the path that I should take.  Every day I feel so blessed that I am traveling this path in my life!  This past year wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for the friendship and love Travis has shown me.

I thank God for every moment, and while the past is a great story.  I will always look forward to tomorrow!

Emulate the Greatest Love

LOVE!

Songs have been written about it, poems have tried to fully express it.  Plays have been written, movies have been made.  Cards exchanged, gifts given, and hearts shared.  All done just to try to fully express what is true real love.

What is true love? People have been wondering this question for ages, and we as a society are getting away from what is close to real.  The greatest love stories are the ones that get the closest to the real love, the truest love that we as humans could ever possibly know.  

What is this true love? The love that God has for His Son and the love that He has for us.  We are sinners and yet, he came to this earth to show us that despite all of the sin in the world, that we are worth fighting for.  We are worth every effort that he gives us.  We don't deserve a love like the love that he has shown us, but that is the point.  That deep of a love, we don't ever deserve it,  but that is what makes this love story so great. 

Our love.  People might say that it is impossible to even try to emulate this love.  And on one hand I would have to agree with them.  We will never be able to come close to this type of love, and we will never be able to surpass this love.  We are humans, and He is God, it is impossible to love more than He does.  But we can strive for that greatness.  We can work to have the greatest love story that strives to come close to this love that God gives us each and every day.

We all have this great love story to see what real love is.  We don't need to look to the world to learn what love is, because we have the greatest love story to strive for.  Don't worry about the ways that the world tells us to love.  

Our love stories will be something of greatness if we just strive to come close to the greatest love story that we have been given to emulate. :-)

Better than I used to be

New favorite song is by Tim McGraw - Better Than I used to be (YouTube Video). I think that it shows what true love really is.

Love isn't perfect.  You don't go into a relationship and never change, love makes you a better person. Love is something that makes you want to become a better person.  Sometimes it takes someone else to make you see that you can become that person.

True love isn't something that Hollywood can show you.  True love is something that is shown through the love that God has given all of us.  He shows us what true love really is.  It isn't something that demands something else from the other person.  True love is the opening up and loving that person unconditionally.

Humans are not perfect, sin is in the world and usually that is the road that sounds easier and more pleasing at the time.  But that pleasure is fleeting and it doesn't last.  If we open our hearts up to God and have him guide our paths, a truer and deeper love is in store.

Listen to God and he will guide you to true love, love that makes you better than you used to be :-)

when new feels old and old feels new

Sometimes you are reminded on how lucky you are in your own life.   There are those moments where something that is new feels like it has been around forever, but then there are also those moments where something old feels alive and fresh again.

What a great way to live, because I think that it makes you appreciate what you have more, and helps you realize all that you have been given in life.  If it a friendship that has come back around, when you didn't think it was there anymore.  Or if it is a relationship just beginning that feels as if it has been longer than what it really has been.

Keeping things fresh, like a bouquet of flowers.  By having the old feel new and the new feel old it is like you are replacing the dying flowers with new ones, and also adding to the arrangement.  So by the end of the day you are left with a fresh bouquet that smells beautiful.

So here's to keeping the bouquet of life fresh!

Wow it has been too long!

Well I have taken the leap (from the last post) and I must say that I think that it was the best decision that I have made in a rather long time! Sometimes you just have to learn how to rely on God's timing and listen to how he might be guiding you.  That is why I am so thankful for my faith, because if I am not totally sure about a decision that I want to make, I give it up to God, and the situation works itself out in the end.

I think that one of the things that we, as humans, forget that we aren't just making decisions for the here and now. We are deciding our future with each choice we make today.  While we make choices that don't matter as greatly (such as what to wear, and what to eat), but some decisions make the greatest impact on our lives (such as who to date, who to befriend, who to make happy, and how hard to work).  We are living not only for ourselves, but for our future selves, our future children, our family, our friends, and most importantly, we are living for God.  We are in this world to glorify God.

I am going to finish this post by telling a story that I heard once at a retreat.  There was a little boy and his father getting a tour of a church.  In this church there are great stain glass windows that have saints depicted in them. The little boy turns to his father and asks, while looking at the stain glass windows: "Daddy, what are those?" The father replies to his son: "Those are the saints."  Latter that same little boy was in Sunday School and the teacher asked the class if they knew what saints were.  The little boy was the only one to raise his hand.  The teacher called on him and he replied: "The saints or what lets the light shine through."

While this little boy didn't know that he wasn't talking about the correct saints, his reply was correct. Saints are those who let the light of Christ shine through them.  That is what we should be aiming for in our own lives. Let our faith shine through our actions so that others will see his glory.