Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb

Growing up I never knew what I wanted to be when I 'grew up'.  While being Catholic I contemplated a religious life, but it never felt right.  I knew that I wanted to be married and have a family.  I knew that if I was called to that vocation God would guide me to the paths that I should take.  The path that got me to this point is one of blessings, and trust in God, like St. Elizabeth did when she found out that she was pregnant with John the baptist, and whose feast day is today.

Graduating from Bishop Dwenger - Spring 2008

When putting my utmost trust in God, I was lead down paths that I never expected to take if it was up to me.  In the winter and spring of my senior year at Bishop Dwenger I was planning on going to Marian University in Indianapolis.  They offered me a great scholarship that was tied to service and I thought that it was a perfect fit. It wasn't until about a month before graduation that I decided to stay in town and go to Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne.  

I stayed because they had the major that sounded good at the time.  I was still not totally sure what I wanted to be when I 'grew up' but staying in town sounded like a good fit.  Some of my friends from high school thought I was staying in town because my boyfriend at the time was going to IPFW as well.  While that is what it might have looked like, I never put that relationship into the equation when deciding my school.  I started at IPFW in Speech and Hearing therapy, a major that no other school that I had looked at offered.  

Anne and I reuniting at the March for Life - winter 2012

That fall I was approached by my now dear friend Anne, that was working with Students for Life of America and was trying to help colleges start up pro-life groups.  She had come to a Newman Catholic Fellowship Mass on campus to find people to start this group.  I volunteered to meet up with Anne outside of school and see what I could do to help.  I was planning on helping hanging posters and attending a few meetings, I never thought that I would be the one to write a constitution and start Students for Life of IPFW.  But God had a purpose for me and I was putting my life into his hands.

While most of the classes for Speech and Hearing were interesting, it didn't seem to 'fit' and it never felt right.  Something was missing.  I was finding a new major, business, and it was a major that all of the colleges that I had looked at in the fall of my senior year of college offered.  God led me to IPFW, not for my major, but for bigger plans.  But, if it wasn't for the major I would have gone away for college most likely, it is really hard to tell.

One of the first 'events' Students for Life held' - Fall 2009
(also the first picture I have of Travis and me in the same picture)

By going to IPFW I was blessed to meet great people that I now call friends and my life has forever been changed.  I met my husband at IPFW through Newman Catholic Fellowship and Students for Life of IPFW.  It depends who you ask, I say we met at Newman Group, but Travis insists that we met at Students for Life.  Either way, if it wasn't for mine (and his) involvement in both groups, we wouldn't have become great friends.

IPFW Graduation - Spring 2012

After I graduated from IPFW Travis and I became engaged, and I started a position as a Marketing Coordinator at Redeemer Radio. After Travis graduated the next year we got married.  Somehow I had started living my life of "when-I-grow-up" and I didn't realize it. 

But, today on St. Elizabeth's feast day there is another event that Travis and I celebrate.  It is quite suiting that St. Elizabeth is the patron saint of Expectant Mothers, and now I have a good reason to find a close kinship with this saint today.  Travis and I are excited to tell you that we are expecting our first little blessing in mid April.  It is during these wonderful exciting new times that I remember to be thankful and grateful for the many blessing.

Elizabeth said to Mary "Blessed are you who Believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled."  Luke 1:45

Now is time to know that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives.

Two Years Ago and Just a Blink

How has these past two years just flown by?  Two years ago I was blessed to start dating the man that became my best friend, and in 18 days I will be blessed and honored to call him my husband.

Travis and I even before we started dating

Two years ago Travis and I went on our first date :-)  We went bowling with Angela, and she was the one that had to convince me that it was actually a date.  I think that I was either in shock that it happened or that I was in denial and I never thought that it would happen.  I didn't realize then that I went on my last first date.  On that Saturday in 2011, I thought that I just went bowling with one of my friends from Newman Group and Students for Life. I was trying to make decisions, and decided to make the leap of faith.

Travis Proposing at Notre Dame 

 In two years we have gone from Friendship to Love, to Engagement, and now to (almost) married. Never did I think that I would be in this position two year ago.  But as always God has a better life story for us than what we could ever dream for.

Travis and I at a friends wedding

Our Journey has had its ups and downs, but I am a better person having Travis by my side.  Please keep us in your prayers as we get closer to our wedding date.  Because together with God we are going to start our life together and begin a new chapter of our lives :-)

One Year Ago

One year ago.... well one year ago I decided to take a jump off of the Grand Canyon of my life and I am so glad that i chose and followed that path.  Because my life now would not be the same if I didn't jump.

One year ago I went on my first date with Travis :-)  Leading up to that I had to make some choices, and I had to let go of some things that were holding me back.  But I jumped and my parachute opened. One year ago I thought that I was just lucky enough to go an a date with a great guy from school. Well, granted I didn't believe that it was a date and it took my younger sister to convince me that it was a date.

I became open to the possibility that God was going to work through me life, and He was going to lead me down the path that I should take.  Every day I feel so blessed that I am traveling this path in my life!  This past year wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for the friendship and love Travis has shown me.

I thank God for every moment, and while the past is a great story.  I will always look forward to tomorrow!

Looking ahead

I think that all that I have talked about recently is looking towards the future.  But right now I think that is all that I really know for sure: uncertainty.  All I know that I need to trust in God and by doing that, things will fall into place.  Through this entire journey I think that there are times when I could have given up and just gone a different direction, but something keeps on telling me that I need to listen to God's call and I need to trust in Him and have the courage to follow His next plan for me.

Courage

Something that can always be worked on.

I've only been graduated for 11 days and I think I've been asked 10,000,000 times what I plan on doing, or what I would like to do, or if I have a job yet.  I don't mind the questions, but I think that I will love it when I have something concrete to actually tell them.

The truth is that I don't know where I am going to be next week, I don't know where I will be next month.  I don't know what will make me totally happy in the job world, other than knowing that by doing God's will on Earth will make me happy and content.  I know I don't have a job yet and I now know that it is much more then just writing a resume (that is only the first step of many).

There is much that I don't know, but I do know that I am on a journey and I pray that this journey that I am taking is the same path that God has planned for me.  I can only hope to do His will.

The footprints poem comes to mind.  I have the last quot on a little plaque sitting on my desk.

"My Precious, precious child, 
I love you and I would never leave you. 
During your times of trial and suffering, 
when you see only one set of footprints, 
it was then that I carried you."

The Final Moments

Have you ever been to a midnight showing of the last film of a trilogy or a series?  Have you ever bought the last book of the series that you have been reading for years?  The lead up to the last scene, the last moment is what we have been waiting for. But, when it gets there, you realize that you didn't think that it would ever come to an end.

That is how this week has been feeling for me, and I have been associating it with when I read the last Harry Potter book and when I saw the last movie.  It was the end of something that had been a part of your life for so long that you never thought that it would come to an end.

This coming Friday is my last day at the job that I have had for almost 4 years, and even though I knew that this day would come, I didn't think that it would come.  I know that sounds stupid, but, when you are somewhere for so long and you know that you are only going to be there as long as you are in college, you sometimes don't connect the two timelines together.

It is an end of an era. I thought that I was ready to say goodbye to the people that I have worked beside for 4 years.  But when I had to start doing that this past Saturday, I felt a ting of sadness. I'm read to move on, don't get me wrong, the unknown frontier is an exciting place to look at.  But it is the people that I am going to miss.  I cherish all of the moments that I have had, but it is time to move on.

God is the writer of my story.  But I can't stay stagnate, I have to keep moving, I just have to listen, to pray for his guidance on where to go to next.  He knows, I just have to let myself go and give it all up to Him.  God is great and I am just his hands and feet on this earth.

Not my will, but His be done.

Trusting in God's way

Do you ever have those times where you have so much to get done, but your mind is on one thing that you have to get it out, so you will be able to consintrate on everything else that you have to get done?

Well that is where I am right now.  Today's topic is trusting in God's way, even when you don't understand and know where he wants you to head.  Life is always crazy but God is always great.

I know that it seems nieve of me, but I always thought that people and companies cared for the people that they are around, and not the almighty bottom line.  But like the NFL things play out, and sometimes what come out of that isn't what you expect.  Sometimes it just feels like a stab in the back that you know will never change.

Now after an emotional rollar coster that I have been on this past weekend, I realize that human can always have the potential of failing you. But God will always be there for you carring you through.  Now I'm not saying that all people have suprised me.  My close friends and family have been helping me too.  But I like to quote Anne Frank: "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart" I like keeping that mind set through life, and I know that even if one person fails me, that doesn't mean that the whole human race has failed me.

God knows what he is doing, and I am not going to change the way I feel about my faith, just to keep some things in my life.  I am not going to be Judas and turn for the money.  God is worth more than anything in this world could give me.  I just have to keep telling myself that and I will make it through.  I know that he will carry me through. 

I know

While I have no idea where I am going, and I am walking blind.  God is my blind dog walking me through,  All I need to do is trust in him and hold onto the leash.  He will guide me in my path.

Sometimes we don't know what is best.

It is funny, I thought that I knew that.  Under a month ago I gave a talk to 8th graders about commitment for the journey, I just didn't realize that I wasn't listening to what I was saying.

In the talk I discussed how we think that we know what is best, it might seem like a perfect, a right fit, but sometimes God has a different plan for us.  We think that we finally get the two puzzle pieces together, but in the end, they don't fit.

What am I getting at you ask.

Over a month ago, I thought that I had a good plan up to graduation.  I was going to get this internship, I was going to be great helping people.  I thought that it was a perfect fit.  I thought that it was so right that I was planning my summer around something that never was promised to me. I got my cars a head of the horse, and I paid for it.  God know when to make me realize that there is more than just thinking that we know what we are doing.

Suffice it to say, today I finally heard back from the internship.  I unfortunately did not get that job.  It was given to someone else.  I think that it was the first time that I had actually opened my heart to something great, but I almost think that is what the lesson was from all of this.  I opened my heart up the the possibility of planning my future.  I have never been in that position before.  I always had a reason to hold back from something.

To be honest, it hurt. It hurt when I realized that the dream that I have been wishing and hoping for, wasn't going to come true for me.  It wasn't my story to tell.  It wasn't the path that I was supposed to take.

"When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."

One door has been shut in my life today. But I am ready to have God show me that window when he thinks that I am ready for it.