It is funny, I thought that I knew that. Under a month ago I gave a talk to 8th graders about commitment for the journey, I just didn't realize that I wasn't listening to what I was saying.
In the talk I discussed how we think that we know what is best, it might seem like a perfect, a right fit, but sometimes God has a different plan for us. We think that we finally get the two puzzle pieces together, but in the end, they don't fit.
What am I getting at you ask.
Over a month ago, I thought that I had a good plan up to graduation. I was going to get this internship, I was going to be great helping people. I thought that it was a perfect fit. I thought that it was so right that I was planning my summer around something that never was promised to me. I got my cars a head of the horse, and I paid for it. God know when to make me realize that there is more than just thinking that we know what we are doing.
Suffice it to say, today I finally heard back from the internship. I unfortunately did not get that job. It was given to someone else. I think that it was the first time that I had actually opened my heart to something great, but I almost think that is what the lesson was from all of this. I opened my heart up the the possibility of planning my future. I have never been in that position before. I always had a reason to hold back from something.
To be honest, it hurt. It hurt when I realized that the dream that I have been wishing and hoping for, wasn't going to come true for me. It wasn't my story to tell. It wasn't the path that I was supposed to take.
"When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
One door has been shut in my life today. But I am ready to have God show me that window when he thinks that I am ready for it.
4 comments:
Wow, how did you get to be so mature?? Feels weird taking advice from my little sister but this is just what I needed to hear. Thanks. =)
First: I don't know. and Second, I am glad that you were able to get something out of it!
I remember the day that you told us that you didn't get the internship and you weren't going to D.C. this summer. It made me sad sitting there watching you cry and knowing there was nothing I could do to help you. I'm kinda glad that you didn't get it because only God knows where we would be if you had. I do like how you use the puzzle pieces at the start:) You used that in one of your letters!
Sometimes God does know what is better for us than we even know ourselves! Granted I wouldn´t have started the intership till next tuesday, but I know what you mean ;-)
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