My mind might be going crazy

It has now been over three years since I first started at IPFW for college, but it wasn't really until this year that I realized that I never really thought about the end game.  I never thought about what I wanted to do after college, I always had a stereotypical answer when people would ask me about my future.  There would be two paths that I would take.  I would give the: "I want to graduate and get a job, I just hope that the job market will be better by the time that I graduate." or something on those lines.  The other path that I would take would be: "I want to settle down and raise a family." I never really thought in specifics and that is what scares me a bit.

All my life, that I can remember, I have been going to school, working towards this moment in my life. I just don't think that I ever thought that I would get here.  It just always seemed so out of grasp that I never gave it much thought.  So here I am a Senior in college and I don't know where I am going to be in a year, heck I don't know where I am going to be in 8 months when I graduate.  I know that I want to stay in town, and I know that I want to make a living, and I know that I want to raise a family eventually.  But I never realized that I had gotten so comfortable where I was.

I never realized that I was comfortable going to school and working as a cashier.  I never realized that I thought about the future, but never made it into concrete thoughts.

I never realized.

and that is what frightens me.

I need to stop being comfortable, and start looking more towards the future.  I need to realize that because I don't want to be a cashier for the rest of my life, I need to start looking towards the future and at a career.  Not knowing what lies before me, might scare me, but that shouldn't stop me. I have rode the front seat of Top Thrill Dragster, I wasn't scared then of not knowing what might not come next. But I sat down in that seat, buckled up, and took that leap of faith.  and it turned out to be amazing, and when I was done, I couldn't wipe that grin off my face.

In my life, I need to sit down and buckle up for the unknown. Because before I know it the future will be here, and I need to be ready.

I don't need to be afraid of the unknown.