We Wore Black

The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions. One moment you are crying and the next you are laughing with wonderful memories. My grandma was a wonderful women who lived her life as a house maker,  who was married to grandpa for 65 years(!!!),  raised her children and was a wonderful grandmother and great-grandma.

Grandma Hold me as a newborn

While I didn't know her the best or the longest, I knew her as a grandmother.  Having that for 24 years have been a blessing and now I have wonderful memories to hold onto.

1. Food

No matter what time of day you would visit grandma and grandpa's house,  you would always leave with a full stomach.

Small boxes of cereal - whenever we would spend the night at the grandparent's house we would wake up to picking out one of the small cereal boxes grandma would have sitting out. It wouldn't be spending the night we would get a delicious sugary cereal in the morning.

Popcorn puffs & sun chips - when playing any game you would only be able to go one round and grandma would be pulling out the plastic pink bowls to be filled with popcorn puffs or some original flavored sun chips. While at first people would say that they weren't hungry (usually because it was right after dinner) but it wouldn't take too long for those bowls to be passed around and quickly would be empty.

Ice cream and brownies - after cards and before you leave,  it was always a good time to pull the brownies or cookies out of the freezer (usually pulled out earlier to warm up) the big container of vanilla ice cream,  and sometimes other flavors, and the chocolate syrup. If you finished your bowl,  you would be asked to

take another brownie or cookie (couldn't dare put them back in the freezer)

2. A&W

Usually when visiting Grandma and Grandpa's one of the places we would usually go to,  especially when we were growing up,  dinner would likely be at A&W where Grandpa would always get root beer float and Grandma would always get a bite or two near the top of glass. Growing up the younger kids would play in the corner with the toys while we waited for the food (when they moved the play area from one corner to the other,  we were a bit jarred). We were always excited to get the small toy in our bags once we finished our food.

3. 5 Crowns & tri-ominos

Playing games around the dinner table at Grandpa and Grandma's were always a norm when visiting.  We would play tri-ominos and Grandma & Grandpa would always find the bridges or the last piece to the circle. It was hard to beat either of them.  When we started to play a new game Nickle Nickle (later 5 crowns - but we would still say "nickle nickle").  Winning was still difficult because Grandma would have 7 points after six rounds and the rest of us would have scores in the 60's (or higher).  Over the years you knew Grandma was doing well still when she could beat your butt at 5 Crowns.

Grandpa, me and Grandma after 8th Grade Graduation

4. Birthday cards

In the past years, it wasn't a gift I was looking forward to, it was a card that you would get in the mail a day or so before your birthday.  It would be a card that inside you would see Grandma's handwriting saying: "Love, Grandma and Grandpa"

Grandma and Grandpa with me at First Communion

Those simple words that I know were getting hard for her to write (writing "Mom and Dad" were much easier on her), but every birthday you would get a card that would be from Grandma and Grandpa.  When I got home from work the day Grandma died, I still had my birthday cards sitting out.  Having that simple piece of card stock meant the world to me at that moment, more than ever before.  The other cards have been packed away, but that one is still sitting out.  And I think I will keep it there for awhile.

5. Being there for grandchildren

Grandma and Grandpa were there for wonderful moments for their grandchildren.  Baptisms, Birthdays, First Communions, Confirmations, Graduations, weddings, and parties.  They were there spreading their smile and support for all of their grandchildren.

6. The outpouring of love seen

Having gone to two of the three showings, you just saw how much Grandma affected the community.  There always seemed to be a line of well wishers, and relatives that I didn't even know before that day were there to pay their respects.  It was just amazing to see how many people were there!

The Grandchildren with Grandma and Grandpa - Christmas 2007

7. Funeral mass

While that was the hardest points of the few days, it was also beautiful!  St. John's Church is majestic and can by itself take your breath away, but add a church filled with with community members, and friends of the family, it was an amazing experience!

The music by their men's choir was wonderful!  It was almost like if you closed your eyes it was like a slice of heaven!  I have had that moment twice before (in Spain a Church next to St. Francis of Loyola's home where we had Mass, and then at me wedding).  You could just imagine if heaven was even more wonderful, then you just knew that it was going to be absolutely amazing! The homily was wonderful, pointing out the
simplicity of Grandma and how being a housewife was enough for her.  There were tear and smiles as we said our goodbyes.

Grandpa, me, and Grandma before the wedding

8. Wedding

I was so blessed to have Grandma and Grandpa come to my wedding at the beginning of July!  Even the day before I wasn't sure if they would be coming.  But,  as I was heading to the back of church to 'hide' there come Grandma and Grandpa through the back door!  I was so thrilled that they came!  It was the cherry on the top for that day.  I just got my wedding pictures back, and now I treasure those photos even that much more!

9. Her voice

This is something that I still hear, especially when thinking and reflecting over Grandma.  I can hear her voice when I called her to tell them that Travis and I were engaged.  I remember her saying: "Bounce" so many times and in so many different ways.  It is something that I hope that I never forget because it was so grandma. nobody else could replicate it.

The First time that Grandma held me in the hospital

While Grandma is gone, her spirit still lives on in her children, her grandchildren, and in her great-grandchildren.  Through the years she taught us so much that we could never really totally forget Grandma.  Just remember that when you have guests over, always have a snack, and ice cream (and brownies) are always good to have on hand.

Rest in peace Grandma.  Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand!


R.I.P. Margaret Pohlman (1925 - 2013)
Obituary